The balancing act between business, family and yourself...

The balancing act between career, family and yourself is not new to anyone, we grow up getting used to the idea, but when we become adults and our lives go in a direction, more challenging than we had expected, we often become overwhelmed and lose ourselves a bit.

Mine was no different...I've made so many adjustments and readjustments, to make things work for everyone, but left myself for last, most of the times...I eventually understood that was a huge mistake (we all eventually get there lol) … we cannot pour out of an empty cup, right?!

I can only speak based on my personal experience, but as I was growing up, I heard so many times " You cannot have everything...you'll have to choose...career or family?", " You're a girl...once you've found your partner, you can no longer hangout with your friends or just have time for yourself", " You having a business? Forget it! It's a men's world, you'll never make it! You won't be more than just a secretary!", " Me time? You're not allowed to have that anymore, you've got kids! Grow up!", " Tired?! You should have thought of that before becoming a mum! Stop being lazy, get up and get going!...and so on...

This kind of things we hear, have an impact in our confidence, in the way we push ourselves way too far, in the way we react in society and the things we teach our children...or...we can choose to just listen to what others say and think " I respect your opinion, but I'll do things my way" or as I usually explain to my children, when they come home with some questions, about something they heard, " Different people have different opinions, but you don' have to follow them. You can think for yourself".

The balancing act between work, family, friends, health, sports, community, yourself is not the easiest thing, but it's doable, when people want to make it work.

Now, when you have your own business, on top of all of the other things, specially, if you are a "one person show"...that can become a bit challenging and some days, you might think that you'll end that week, needing a white jacket...but...it's still doable!

There are not secret easy pills or formulas to make it all work, without any hiccups...that's the ugly truth...however, what usually works for me when I'm feeling tired or overwhelmed... I take a break...I make a pause...I set boundaries for myself. Yes...for myself, because I tend to overdo things and end up exhausted and with all honesty, how good can I be if I'm absolutely knackered?! I won't be able to be productive at work...I won't have the mood to play with the kids or to listen to the stories, they bring from school or friends...I won't be able to be a chilled loving partner or a supportive daughter to my mum...I won't...I will lose the plot at some point.

So...I truly believe, there is time for everything in this life, we only have to manage it a bit, nothing much...no need to go crazy...

• First of all, we need to make time for ourselves, doing what we love, as individuals. For example, I like to play Rugby, go to the gym and do weightlifting, go out with friends, colour realistic drawings/paintings, go for walks in nature, read, take naps and gardening...lol...I make time for all of them, maybe not every single day, all of them, but at least one of them, I do!

• I used to work 16h/day, 7 days a week, because when you're a single parent and you have two businesses, you tend to work more to achieve some stability. After Covid, lockdowns, working from home and the new work dynamic, one of my business took a huge downfall and it made me work a lot more...and I was absolutely exhausted. I had to be firm with myself and not allowing myself to work more than 8h a day, 5 days a week. I needed a break...to sleep!

• When I'm feeling good, I also get more time to be the mum I wanted to be. I am not only more present for them, as I've also set the example of how my children can be, in the future;

Isn't this a huge balancing act? Yes, it is, but it's the one that allows me to tick all the boxes and allows me to have a smile on my face, day in, day out!

What stop us from achieving our goals and dreams, is not our gender, culture, age or religion, it's ourselves. I don't give up on something I really want...I may pause things for a bit, but I will not stop, until I get them. I'm patient and resilient...it may take time, when it moves at a snail pace, and I may need to have a loooootttt of patience, but...I will get there and will make it work!

In the end of the day, it doesn't matter how others may be doing in life or not, from what you can see...sometimes, there is a lot more going on, behind the scenes. Don't compare your progress with other people's progress. Sometimes, a pause moves you more forward, in the future, than rushing to see the results quickly.

Be kind to yourself, take your own time.

Love,

Sonia xx